New Advocacy Group Claims Birthers "Miss the Obvious"
PHOENIX - (AP)

A group of irate citizens calling themselves "Existers" are causing a stir by claiming that President Obama simply does not exist.  Their arguments draw from portions of the "Birther" campaign, The Emperor's New Clothes, and the award of a Nobel Peace Prize.  Karen Clatchner, a self-described "hard-core exister", sums up their views: "Look, if he wasn't born, he can't be real!  And all through the campaign, all you heard was 'unbelievable', 'he's just out of sight', and that he was 'a dream come true'.  All we're saying is this: it never came true."  When asked how the Nobel Prize figured into the group's arguments, Ms. Clatchner cocked her head, blew a raspberry, and said "So the Swedes recognized him?  Honestly?  You think that helps?"

The reaction of Americans has been mixed.  A telephone survey found that 94% of Americans had never seen the President except on TV, and 90% of respondents acknowledged that they don't always believe the TV.  Of the 6% who claimed to have seen the President, all admitted "it was from a long way away", and that they were "very excited at the time".  Psychologists universally acknowledge the role that excitement can play in causing humans to accept erroneous information, such as "After-Thanksgiving Sales".  

The President could not be reached for comment.