WASHINGTON, D.C.
Obama Embraces Economic Dadaism
"Why not?" is common reaction

In the face of yet another unprecedented financial crisis, the sitting president of the United States has at last resorted to Dadaism to sort out the troubles. When asked about his new policy, Mr. Obama danced and lilted: "Ungleddodle bunglemee, maybe try this one, you see?  Gebbendodder teeter-totter rescue the economy!"  The president continued to gibber until the press withdrew quietly from the room.

Economists and the literati are divided on the new approach.  Stephen Harrington, a professor of 20th century literature at Colombia, said "the president's new tack squares well with his concern over a 'lost generation', and has a great deal of historical precedent from the Europeans."  The economics department of Colombia refused comment, as they had pasted their lips together and were assembling a colossus of books and papers held together with glue.

Treasury secretary Timothy Geithner demonstrated his solidarity with the President by sitting naked in the Rose Garden, covered head to toe in body paint, and smoking two cigarettes through his nose.  When asked for comment, he screeched "smoking loon!" repeatedly for thirty seconds, then fell silent and refused to discuss further plans.  Later this evening, the cabinet is expected to put on a silent play, going into detail on the new rescue plans via the media of pantomime and dance. 

Reaction on Wall Street has been mixed.  Henry Mitchell, a trader on the NYSE, said that he "couldn't figure out what they were up to before, so damned if this makes any difference."  Oswald Harvery, a manager at Dow Jones, reported he was "thrilled that we're finally getting a consistent message from Washington."