WASHINGTON, D.C.
Breaking News: Left-Leaning Establishment Propped Up By Right-Leaning Establishment
"Simply a miracle"

Early Friday afternoon, on K-Street, a "miracle" occured.  A prominet left-leaning think-tank began to lose stability, drifting further to the left in the brisk wind.  "It just looked like it couldn't stay up much longer," said Damon Smythe, who happened to be on the sidewalk below.  "I thought I would have to run for it, y'know?"

This near-calamity was averted, however, when the building next door to the left, housing a far-right-leaning advocacy group, tipped just a bit further to the right, exactly intercepting the think-tank's ivory tower.  "I wanted to cry, it was so beautiful, so merciful!" Julie Snyder, another passerby, exclaimed.  "It could have been this huge disaster, but by drifting just a little further to the right, those nuts really saved the day."

President Obama was quick to comment on the report.  "This spirit of post-partisanship, of left and right coming together, this is why I am here today, doing what I do."  The president was wearing one of his gorgeous red ties again today.

Another bystander, who wished to remain anonymous, asked "Well, what if they had been on opposite sides of each other?"  He was handcuffed and lead away from the scene by the Washington police.  The police spokesperson issued a brief statement, saying "We don't have room for perspectives like that in America.  It's perfectly obvious that, if it had been the other way around, you would just have had to go around to the other side."