A brief treatise on grass

By Matt Miner

The warm weather came early to Arizona this spring, with the last ten days or so in the high-80s to low-90s.  Normal temperatures for this time of year are ten degrees cooler than that.  As a result, I’ve got my water on and the Bermuda grass is greening up nicely.

First, some Matt Miner lawn facts: I have a 6600 square foot lot.  My slab is just less than 2000 square feet.  Everything else is grass (with trees and other plantings in the lawn).  I enjoy the grass, and it’s working nicely this year.  I got my fertilizer down early and the fact that the lawn is coming in is keeping the weeds down.  My irrigation system is in top condition (thanks to a $1600 investment last spring and my week off) and I am a happy homeowner.

So what do I do with my lawn, you ask?  Well, first of all, I mow it – every ten days now, and soon, every five.  Front, back, trimming and clean up takes about 2.5 hours.  I water it.  But more importantly, we have parties on it.  We throw cornhole tourneys.  We put the patio table and chairs on the grass at night and smoke cigars and drink tequila (well, the manlier members of our group of friends do, anyway).  I look at it admiringly while I eat my breakfast cereal standing up at the kitchen sink.  And I show it to other people.

My wife is glad that I won’t have a lawn when we go to business school.  Three hours a week of free time devoted to lawn care is a pretty costly hobby.  I think my lawnlove is the reason she did not even want to consider buying a house in Durham, and I follow her logic.

But after school, I’ll be back to the lawn – until the government makes it illegal to water.  Lucy already plays in the grass; I’d like her siblings to do the same.  I’d be willing to reduce my lawn square footage by imposing a pool, and then, about 13 years from now, I’ll outsource the mowing to Joshua (due in 5 weeks).  Welcome, summer.

Author’s note: Sorry for my lengthy absence, mom.  I’ll try to resume thrice weekly posts.