Decade 2: The '90s and post-alt-rock-grunge-garage-band-tyme

1990
I shed a tiny tear as the Royal Navy of New Zealand discontinues its daily rum ration.  I shed another as the SR-71 is grounded, permanently.  Cool, sleek, black, fast planes currently hold a large portion of my admiration.

1991
With a deepening fear that the internal strife within her will shred what is left over, I watch solemnly as the USSR is formally dissolved.  A slow rain sifts through the streets as I am left, powerful and alone, a citizen of a lonely superpower.

1992
The Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series.  I abandon sports forever.

1993
Bill Clinton presides over the first-annual Middle-East-Group-Hug-Therapy-Time.  Yassir and Ariel refuse to return each other's calls, both publicly denying that it was "good for them too".  It is subsequently cancelled by mortar grenade, into perpetuity.  I give up on the Middle East, instead focusing my attention on coin collecting.

1994
Wake up one morning surrounded by cactus.  Must have moved to Arizona.  The rest is a blank.

1995
Fifth grade?  I didn't know they went that high.  Somehow, on an ostensible trip to the bathroom, I become enrolled in the chess club.  Incriminating photos are taken, a medal is won.  Michael Jordan also enrolls, then promptly realizes it is basketball he is good at, and goes and does that.  I drop out also.

1996
Gary Kasparov and Deep Blue face off in chess.  I realize I left at the right time. 

1997
Dolly is cloned.  Science continues to frighten me.  Armies of identical sheep leap, one after another in my dreams.  Odd.  That seemed less menacing before. 

1998
Ice is found on Europa.  Whoo.  That doesn't help me, because junior high school stinks.

1999
I take photography and drama (what?) this year, fleeing the natural sciences and embracing the liberal arts.  Much low-quality poetry is written.  Michael Jordan retires from NASCAR, then basketball.

 

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